非常感谢你的回答,能否帮我看下我这篇短文是否有大的问题!My grandfather is my most important relatives in my life.在我小的时候,当时的我很调皮,经常闯祸.有一次,那是在我6岁的夏天,我一个人去游泳.

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非常感谢你的回答,能否帮我看下我这篇短文是否有大的问题!My grandfather is my most important relatives in my life.在我小的时候,当时的我很调皮,经常闯祸.有一次,那是在我6岁的夏天,我一个人去游泳.

非常感谢你的回答,能否帮我看下我这篇短文是否有大的问题!My grandfather is my most important relatives in my life.在我小的时候,当时的我很调皮,经常闯祸.有一次,那是在我6岁的夏天,我一个人去游泳.
非常感谢你的回答,能否帮我看下我这篇短文是否有大的问题!
My grandfather is my most important relatives in my life.
在我小的时候,当时的我很调皮,经常闯祸.有一次,那是在我6岁的夏天,我一个人去游泳.正当我往河中间游的时候,我的脚突然抽筋了.我喝了好多水.我想,我可能会死,但是,在这个时候,是我的祖父用他那有力的手救了我.获救后,还轻声的安慰我.我永远忘不了他当时温暖的笑容.
When I was a kid,I was very mischievous ['mistfves],always looked for trouble.On one occasion(有一次),it was my 6 year old in the summer noon.I went swimming in the river alone.when I was Swimming to the middle of the river,a sudden cramp in my foot.In the struggle,I've had been drinking a few riverwater.I think I might die.At this time,my grandfather with his powerful hand saved me.After being rescued['reskju:],he comforted me softly.I'll never forget his warm smile.
虽然他不在了,我依然怀念他.
I still miss him very much even though he passed away long time ago.

非常感谢你的回答,能否帮我看下我这篇短文是否有大的问题!My grandfather is my most important relatives in my life.在我小的时候,当时的我很调皮,经常闯祸.有一次,那是在我6岁的夏天,我一个人去游泳.
1.alwanys looking for trouble,主句为一般过去式,而此处意在表达“找麻烦”,不能用一般过去式动词表达,与look本身词性有关.2.Once upon a time ,or,once ever 表示“有一次”可能更合适.3,One summer afternoon When I was 6.中文意欲表达“游到河中央”,WHEN I WAS APPROACHING THE CENTER FROM THE EDGE,7,I cramped suddenly,8,一个简单事实,"我喝了好多水'"此处建议用一般过去式,上下文无时态冲突.除此之外,“喝了少许水”此处只能用SOME.9,I THOUGHT I MIGHT GET DROWN.10.“此时”发生在过去,用“right then”也许更合适.11.“在这个时候,是我的祖父用他那有力的手救了我”,表达有失误,用with不合适,by,表方式.12After being rescued['reskju:],he comforted me softly.明显的主语错位.确定一个主语,如,I.After being rescued,Iwas comforted softly by him.