亲 帮忙看下有什么错误可以指出

亲 帮忙看下有什么错误可以指出
亲 帮忙看下有什么错误可以指出

亲 帮忙看下有什么错误可以指出
As it（这里要加上it） is known to all,anyone（此处把who去掉,否则话没说完要再加上半句） has a great father.众所周知,任何人都有一个伟大的父亲.
Maybe（一个单词,意思是或许,也许） your father is a doctor,a painter or a writer.也许你的父亲是一个医生,一个画家或是一名作家.
In my eyes,all fathers are great men(这个单词要用复数),whether they are(复数） successful or not now.
在我眼里,所有父亲都是伟大的,不管他现在是否是个成功的人.
Due to his work(之前的那种翻译比较中国式英语,这样说就可以表示,由于工作的原因）,(注意用逗号）he often travels between different cities.
In my mind,father is(缺少be 动词做谓语,单数第三人称用is）seldom at home.
Most of the time(绝大多数时间,most of time=时常的,根据意思,保留原有表达比较好）,only my mother and I have dinner together.
Since my(比the好一些） childhood,what I most want to see is that we can have dinner together.
However,I know father works(单数第三人称加s）very hard for our family (deeply去掉,不合适）.The exhaustion of his body and the sweat on his forhead are the best evidences of my father's hard work （这里work和hard要颠倒过来用,原来的那种表达是动词,这里需要名词性质的短语,父亲的努力工作,努力工作是名词性质的,父亲工作很努力=这种说法可以用work hard）.
I am proud of my father (such 有些微贬义,建议不用）.

all fathers are great men,whether they are successful or not now.
he often travels among different cities.
I n my mind, my father seldom stays at home.

anyone has a great father
may be――maybe
great man――great men
he is――they are
my father is great althought he is just an ordinary businessman
due to the work
he always travels a...

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anyone has a great father
may be――maybe
great man――great men
he is――they are
my father is great althought he is just an ordinary businessman
due to the work
he always travels among cities
is seldom
most of time
in dinner
since my chilhood
the most i want to see
works hard and do a lot for the family后面不要了
去掉of my father's work hard
最后改为i am proud of my father

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第一句 不是都 给你画了横线了吗 ? 有问题
第二句 也有问题哦 不能 分开写 may be 应该连着 做 句子副词

这个句子应去掉who

划线句子应该去掉who，众所周知，任何人都有一个伟大的父亲。建议把anyone改成everyone.